desire

I'm afraid of leaving the theater. I remember sitting in a darkened theater years ago and experiencing an intense longing. The hush of the audience as the lights go down. The first splash of light on the screen. When I am away from it I miss it, but unknowingly. I am afraid to leave the theater because I will have to carry that longing around.

I experience the same feeling when I am on a Cape Cod ferry. A desire for a place that is impossible to satisfy. It will overtake my heart at surprising moments. When I see a certain shade of blue or catch a wiff of salt air. I've been wondering lately if I am gravitating towards the Cape. Am I being pulled towards the place I was born in some inescapable circle? Why am I also pulled towards a movie screen? People's inside wiring is such a mystery. Everyone's desire is triggered differently.