what to say

It is hard to imagine Chicago being cold. It was 98 today. I can't say that it is a pleasureable hot. The lack of an ocean breeze has become evident (and no the lake doesn't quite cut it.) Everyone prespires all the time. But, I do like that the hot weather forces you to interact with the elements. Unless you never leave an air-conditioned apartment, you will be affected by the heat. It is a forced equalization in a way.

I finally emailed my friend who was living in Beirut (Or atleast last time I heard, he could be anywhere really.) And again faced with the dilemma of what to say. What I feel is that I am horrified by what Israel is doing. But it is distant to my life. Beyond trying to empathize by following the news, reading over friends of friends emails, and imagining what it must be like, I don't really know. I haven't been touched by war directly. I feel so lucky for that. The immensity of that knowledge, the unfairness paralyzes me when I butt up against the undeniable fact that I benefit from U.S. imperialism. I don't want to wallow in guilt which plagues much of the left, but I know that I need to acknowledge it. Despite the tongue-tiedness, I still want to send a message. I want to communicate that I am worried to someone I care about. So I just end up saying, "I hope you are okay." and hope that suffices. I haven't heard back yet.

baby, lets have a baby – before bush do something crazy

It's hot again here in Chicago.

I heard that SF is having a summer. I remember the last summer SF had, I think it was a few years ago. I know SF is just doing this to annoy me.

I saw The Coup play again last weekend. Why is this the summer of The Coup? I went years in the Bay Area not seeing them play (except at that FNB fundraiser in Dolores Park). I think I had a mental block about liking them for several different reasons. It seems safe to like them now.

Also saw SHB play his country music to a weird club full of weird Chicagoans. He was good. Typical SHB, "If you don't like country music, you can kiss my ass, suck my dick, and get the hell out!" Since we do like country music we stayed. True to form, I drank too much and almost fell off my bike on the ride home. That's to be expected.

normalizing

Beth says that when you get hit by lightning your body fundamentally changes, so that lightning is drawn to you. People hit by lightning are more apt to get hit by lightning again and again.

My body is slowly becoming accustomed to the Chicago elements. I am starting to shed the slight uncomfortableness of being in a new place. My allergies are completely gone, which seems miracle enough. Although I find the city noise and bustle to be unpleasant and I have begun to yearn for the country.l I do enjoy the weather and the dramatic changes it takes throughout the day. The lightning/thunder last night was brutal. I think the garage beside my bedroom wall was struck by lightning.

When I glance down at my feet I momentarily startle because they do not look like my own. They are a pleasant toasted brown color as a result of being on the beach for four days. I had forgotten what a different shade my skin becomes when exposed to sunshine and it adds a strange oldness to the newness of becoming normalized.

dunes

I went to Lake Michigan. It is a huge lake. Look at that picture. It is huge. And it was this carribean blue color. I didn't want to swim in a murky dark mess of a lake. I didn't have to. The water was clear and seemed to be clean, although that may be a questionable assumption when dealing with Lake Michigan.

We looked at the stars by the fire near the lapping waves. We learned to make fires efficiently. I left sandy dirty and relaxed all around. We caught the headlines in town of Beirut in flames. It is alarming yet seems so far away. I wonder about my friend that was living there and if he is okay, or if he had left the city. When the big blood orange slice of moon rises over the horizon and we sing silly camp songs to keep the cougars away it seems like a good thing to stay away from the noisy places. Until you read the details of destruction and then feel like we have to stop this craziness in the world. Then it is time to go home and clean the sand out of my ears.

dancing in september

The sun has set and the skies of Chicago are alive with fireworks. The constant pops and crackles and booms will last most of the night. It is hot, but in a way that is soft, relaxing, and moist, tempered by a semi-cool breeze. I am obssessed with weather conditions. I imagine being 80 and sitting on a front porch talking about the weather for hours on end. Assuming there still is weather when I am 80. Actually, I'd be happy doing that as my main occupation when I hit 40.

Most (all?) members of Earth, Wind, and Fire grew up in the Henry Horner Homes here in Chicago. Henry Horner is a project that was erected in the mid-50s when a bunch of federal $ was allocated for housing. And then was neglected for decades in this segregated ghetto-ridden city. It was all meant to happen that way – no accident there. And it is one of the buildings that will be demolished under Chicago Housing Authority's new plan to tear down all the public housing.

Back to Earth, Wind, And Fire. I was in the grocery store and "September" came on over the store sound system. And people could not help boogie-ing in the aisles. Almost everyone was doing a little dance. Some thinking no one was watching, others just blatantly shaking their booty. We were seriously one beat away from having a spontanteous choreographed musical moment. Really, you have to be inhuman to resist Earth, Wind, And Fire.

Do you remember the 21st night of september?
Love was changing the minds of pretenders
While chasing the clouds away

Our hearts were ringing
In the key that our souls were singing.
As we danced in the night,
Remember how the stars stole the night away

Say do you remember
Dancing in September
Never was a cloudy day

yeah.

When I left the Bay the sky looked empty. Here the sky is windy, big, leafy, and lately full of fireworks (Chicago celebrates the 4th for a whole week). When it is really hot, you can't really do anything until around 11pm which is problematic when you have nothing to do.

Sometimes some people make you feel like you have to do something though. Like write your book, make your movie, take your trip, or sing your song. You know what I mean. Usually it is someone that is writing his book, making his movie, taking his trip or singing his song. (replace "his" with "her" if appropriate). Sum this up with a 3AM text message I received from S: "OMG Bjork is so F-ing HOT!!!"