confederate ivy

yes, it's really called 'confederate ivy' and it is blooming everywhere right now.

lovely red leaf

fried chicken spider

i ate my first soft shell crab today.

wilmington porch

wendy and lucy

I'm one of the few people that did not like the movie "Wendy and Lucy." I listened to a radio interview with the director this morning, and it did not make me like the film any more. On paper and in theory, I should like this movie – it's sparse and realistic, it's about a young woman and a dog, it was filmed in the Pacific Northwest and directed by a woman. I'm sort of the target audience for a film like this.

To me, it seemed like a grad student project. An okay film, but not something I would necessarily pay money to see. Michelle Williams was decent, but not oscar-worthy. There was something about this film that I just didn't buy. Maybe that Michelle Williams is really heading for a cannery in Alaska? It seemed more plausible that she'd be heading to a barista job in Portland.

I appreciate the director's effort to expose the precarity of life in the grand US of A, but it didn't work for me. Maybe if I was still an alienated 22-year-old that can't get a job and doesn't know what to do with my life. But, getting older has taught me that that stage of life is a lot less interesting and romantic than I thought it was while I was in it.

I wonder why this director has a fascination with people on the edge of society. If I had to bet, I would say that she has never been close to the social/economic precarity her characters face. And that is probably why the film does not ring true.

one more week chicago

It's been warmer. It's like my blood is less gelatinous, like motor oil when it warms up, everything moves easier. I'm still amazed by how many things A. and I have accumulated while living in this apartment. The truth is, that we could live just fine without 98% of our stuff. The books we never look at, the CDs we never listen to, and the plates we never use. Yet we're bringing it all with us. The cats are jumping in and out of the boxes, not sure what is happening.

almost out of here

Well, we're packing up all our stuff. Listing furniture on Craigslist, and all the other joys that come with moving. I'm still recovering from my last day at the office, but I'm oh-so-glad that's over. I still feel stuck in sludge that is normal winter-feeling for me. I alternate between being really excited and a little scared. I always freak out a little during "in between" times. I like to be settled, and have all my stuff somewhere. That's just how I am.

how much more snow can we take

There is a silent heavy snow over Chicago today. It seems to match the somberness of events lately. The Oakland BART police killing an unarmed man, Israel attacking Gaza, the jobless rate out of control... I mean what is going on.. why so much tragedy? This year is coming in with a roar.

clarity for the new year

We spent New Years on the Outer Banks again this year. The ocean was beautiful. There are often pink sunsets on that thin slice of land.

I'm back and working again. Thankfully, we are gearing up to move away from Chicago. I moved here entertaining the possibility that I could find a home here. That the old buildings would be quaint, and the darkness would be romantic, and the leafy springtime would be enough to balance out the winter. It has become clear to me, that I don't belong here. That there are some kind of karmic meridians or whatever, that are just not good for me to live on. I realize that seems hippy dippy, but I can't deny the pull geography has over me. Some places can be magic, and some can be a sink hole. That doesn' t mean I'm not happy that I moved to Chicago. I absolutely am.

back in chicago

Back in Chicago where everything is a little bit dirtier. A symphony of phlegmy coughs on the CTA propelled me towards Logan Square from the airport. I'm constantly amazed by how depressing it can be here and reassured that "weather" is the major cause of my current discontent. Followed by "job" as a close second.